Had a meeting in a London hotel this morning with some colleagues. All was going well – we got some good seats in the super airy lobby, there was air conditioning and, although the waiter didn’t ever seem to notice me asking for a coke, we had a productive meeting.
Trouble started when I spotted a Vodafone 3g card extension cable. If you buy a data card, they also give you this rather odd aerial to help boost the mobile signal in weak areas. (ie. The countryside. Not central London)
The aerial looks rather suspect. A cross between an anal thermometer and a sexual toy – on a wire – which you plug it into the PCMCIA data card. No one in their right mind even thinks of actually using it.
Well, I spotted this aerial professionally attached with a little gizmo thing to the top of the chap’s laptop screen. Interesting, I thought, what anal chappie thinks he needs to use that in the hotel lobby where there is a super dooper Vodafone signal?
We are slap bang in the middle of London. You couldn’t get a better throughput to the card if you tried.
Well, I looked to see and would have fallen off my chair if it had been one of those plastic small ones. The chap sat behind the laptop was busy knocking away on the keyboard … With one of those Jabra wrap-around-the-ear ‘yes-I-am-a-plumber‘ bluetooth headsets on. With his handset sat in front of him. (A shitty Nokia 6300 series I think)
Too much. It was too much.
I actually thought of asking my colleagues to give me a few minutes so I could go over to the guy and ask him for an interview. I had my SMS Text News business cards with him. I wondered if I he’d allow me to take a picture of him posing there with his gear so I could put it up here. I decided against it.
Guidelines for avoiding appearing over geeky in a Hotel Lobby
Geeky is fine. Over-geeky is a big no-no. This chap needed a total revamp. I could have gone to town with him. Change your shit. Dump that Nokia. What the hell are you doing with that piece of shit laptop? Lose the weird looking hair. Anyway. 😉
1. If you’re going to use your data card, you do not need to advertise it to the world by sticking the aerial on top of the laptop screen. UNLESS YOU PLAN TO BE DOING 3G DATA CONNECTIONS IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIELD, LEAVE THE EXTENSION CABLE IN THE BOX WHERE IT BELONGS.
2. Do not, on any account, wear a Jabra bluetooth headset unless you:
a) look like the girl on the Jabra site (or a male equivalent)
b) have taken care to put your really old, rusty mobile in your bag, pocket or otherwise
3. Get a better phone. Dump the age old Nokia. You know, they do actually make NEWER ones.
4. Do NOT sit for an hour with a Jabra headset on WITHOUT at least getting a friend to call you once or twice so you can look busy. It’s only Plumbers or other professional tradespeople who actually use wrap-around-your-ear Jabras and this is because they have a clear use for them. They’re in and out of their vans, in and out of client sites and forever getting calls all day long. YOU on the other hand look like a total loner sat there, headset on, with no one phoning you at all.
thanks!