Restricted by mobile data costs? Careful. I’m gunning for you.

Prompted by the recent announcement of the modified T-Mobile data plans, I just had to comment on the issue of mobile data.

I meet and come into contact with quite a lot of mobile experts, geeks and hipsters (i.e. cool people poncing about with cool tech devices), internationally and here in the UK.

There is absolutely nothing worse than meeting and bonding with someone, talking about mobile technology, shooting the breeze and whatnot, and for this typical scenario to unfold (as it has done for about 15 people I’ve met this month):

I’m sat with some chap.  He’s showing off his device.  He takes a picture or something.  Or he shows me an application working on his handset.   During the course of the conversation, I say, ‘hey, send that to me!’ or something similar.

As I say this, I notice the chap’s face twitch ever so slightly.  A worried look slips across his features and I notice his pupils dilate.  Uh oh, I think.  Quickly he recovers himself into a calm looking fake smile and utters a slightly faked nervous laugh.

‘Heh,’ he’ll say…, ‘Er, heh…, That get’s quite expensive!’ 

At this point I’ll think to myself, ‘Seriously, he’s Head of Mobile for [COMPANY] and he’s worried about sodding data charges?’

Then I’ll ask, ‘What network are you using?’

He’ll invariably respond with a squeak, ‘Vodafone’.  [or o2, or Orange or, heaven forbid, one of those £5 a meg pay as you go mobile services].

I then have to play my part.  I have to nod sagely saying, ‘Ah yes, of course, well — yes — of course!’

It’s my job to say this to excuse his absolutely ridiculous situation: He’s sat in front of me with one of the most advanced mobile devices on the planet, humbled and nobbled because he’s afraid of the £2 or £3 a meg charges.

‘They, er… they do add up you know!’ He’ll tell me, if he’s got a bit of confidence left over.

I then have to ask the guy: ‘Er, right, yes.  You know T-Mobile do an unlimited plan – just £7.50 a month extra for unlimited data?’

Now, at this point, one of two things happens:

a) The guy nods and says, ‘But I’m on Vodafone|o2|orange|whatever’.    What kind of answer is that? CHANGE IT.

or, worse:

b) He looks in me at disbelief, ‘Unlimited? How does that work?’    I then have to explain it’s 1gb fair use a month.  Invariably he looks doubtful. 

‘I haven’t heard that?’ he’ll ask, thinking I’m winding him up.

‘No, seriously, it’s £7.50 on top of your normal price plan. Seriously.’

At this point he either looks sheepish, or, like the Japs in the caves in WW2 who didn’t know the war was over, he refuses to believe me. 

It is absolutely 100% unacceptable for anyone, ANYONE, connected with the mobile industry with a top of the range device, to avoid using it because their operator is applying stupid per meg billing rates.

It’s fair enough if you don’t feel motivated to take pictures, video, or use applications. That’s totally fine.  But if you WOULD use it, but don’t because you’re with a neolithic operator, it’s simply not good enough.

I’ve held my tongue for a long time. 

Now I’m not going to tolerate it.  I pity the fool — like the guy who, last week, got out his N93 to show me.  I raved about it and saw the gorgeous video.  Then the fool… the absolute FOOOOOOL… went on to explain that he’s got a 4mb monthly data allowance on his Orange contract and ‘that does me quite well.’

My mouth dropped open. 

‘Er, two photos and you’ve used that up?’

‘Ah, I bluetooth them to my computer. Saves on the charges!" he tells me, proudly.

He goes on: ‘I used 5mb last month.. that was expensive!!’ — You should have seen my face at this point, ‘But,’ he continued, ‘That’s just ‘cos I was trying it out, you know,’ he finishes, turning the device over in his hands.

Couldn’t take it any more.

I let rip.  I told him to hand back the device if he wasn’t going to use it properly.  I told him to get a proper service plan.  I told him that it was the height of nonsense that he, a respected mobile professional, be poncing about like this.  I told him I was embarrassed by his behaviour. 

‘Go and buy a ‘Simple’ phone from Vodafone,’ I insisted. 

To be clear, I’m no T-Mobile fan per se.  It won’t be long — it can’t be long — until the other operators fall into line with some sort of unlimited data plan.  But until that time, it’s not good enough to behave like that arse with the N93.

What year are you living in? When you’ve gone and bought an N93 — and you knowingly and happily couple that with a service plan that has a 4mb data allowance?  And you put up with it?   That’s like buying a Ferrari and keeping it locked in the garage with a cover over it, and just showing people the manufacturer’s brochure whenever they ask to see it. 

If you’re a mobile professional, either stick with your operator and pay the obscene data charges OR swap.  It’s not good enough to limit yourself.  There’s no need to.