How many handsets does it take for ‘extraordinary rendition’?
The one thing I totally forgot when I said ‘Yeah, let’s have an Unlimited Drinks event in Israel’ was the security. They really do it rather differently and very properly.
When I arrived at Heathrow, I hunted for zone ‘P’ and found that it was a corner at the end of the hanger replete with a huge queue of people flying EL AL — my airline of choice in this case — to Tel Aviv.
Standing in the huge queue, I inched along and eventually reached a chap from Israel’s Security who pounded me with question-after-question-after-question. I mentioned that I’d been to Israel once before, on a school trip ages ago.
- “What age were you?”
“Er,” I thought… I couldn’t quite remember. “Seventeen?”
- “What was the name of your school?”
Shit. I had to think and then quickly answered.
- “What is the purpose of your trip to Israel?”
Networking, I explained. I talked about the site and all was going well until the chap spotted INDONESIA in my passport. He looked up at me and glared.
- “When did you travel to Indonesia?” He blurted.
“March,” I answered.
- “Why?”
“Er, a holiday to Bali.”
Wasn’t good enough. He looked at me closely and told me to wait in my position in the queue. He marched off with my passport to the supervisor-Mossad-guy.
I waited a good ten minutes in the clearly-suspect queue next to some Iranian chap who was using his Windows Mobile device like no tomorrow.
After a few moments, the supervisor-Mossad-guy came over and fired questions at me.
I thought I’d better declare the oodles of handsets in my hand luggage prior them finding them.
You know how security people are with phones. One is fine. Two is ok, as long as one is a Blackberry… and more and you’re potentially a threat to national security. Nevermind that the handsets I’m carrying are all high spec, top notch ones. A handset’s a handset, right?
Surprisingly they didn’t really care about my handsets. Not yet.
“We check your hand baggage at the gate,” the chap snapped.
The security team then proceeded to scan my hold luggage in front of me, four times. Just to be sure.
Proper, proper security.
Then there was a special queue at the normal security for EL AL passengers. Everything off and scanned. Again.
No mention about the handsets yet.
Having got to the gate, it looks like there might now be a final, final security check. This, I’m convinced, is where they’re going to stop me and demand to know why I’m carrying:
- An N95
- An E65
- A 3 Skypephone
- A Motorola Q (Testing the new Good Mobile Messaging)
- A 3UK USB Modem
- An Apple iPhone
I’m picturing flashing red lights, electrified security fences and lots of alarms.
We shall see.. Has anyone else had trouble with multiple handsets at the airport?
Reminds me of the time I flew through Dubai with my Leatherman in my hand luggage… pre-2001 obviously…. big men with guns spoke to me in broken english… initially I thought they were angrily questioning me but it turned out they were complimenting me on my choice of multi-tool before sending me off to catch my follow-on flight.
Last time I flew (quite a while ago now, 2005 I think) I left my Leatherman at home but I wore my tactical vest because I was off to a Mobile thing in Canada and had 5 phones and a number of other gadgets in the many pockets… didn’t have ANY trouble whatsoever either leaving or returning… Anecdotal evidence suggests I’d end up with a sore bottom for attempting to enter the US wearing such a thing.
Posted by Dan Lane on November 20th, 2007 at 3:05 pm.I once nearly missed an a performance in Gibraltar due to the security guards insisting on putting every single piece of my circus equipment through the scanner one by one…
“And this Sir?”
“That’s a Devil Stick..”
“A What?!”
“Err… I can show you. Hang on, hold my balls for a second will you?”
Posted by James Whatley on November 20th, 2007 at 3:24 pm.Ahh typical of our top notch security in Canada Dan
Posted by Krystal on November 20th, 2007 at 4:25 pm.I once got kicked out of Israel after failing one of their ’security’ tests. It wasnt a pleasant experience - me and my backpacking mates were held for 12 hours and questioned for about 3 on the grounds that our travel route was suspect. We are planning on taking a bus from Jerusalem to Cairo but hadnt checked that the service had been discontinued a few months before - which seemed to make us very suspect. Idiots - yes perhaps, but terrorists - no, I dont think so.
They expelled us into Jordan at 3am and left us stranded in the middle of some desert tent village where there were no buses, shops, hotels, people, food, water, anything etc etc. It was a real nasty experience and I wouldnt go back as a result. Well, for that and the fact that they commit so many human rights abuses against the Palestinians.
Posted by AJ on November 20th, 2007 at 7:40 pm.So did you make it through?
A nation waits with baited breath …
Posted by Patrick on November 20th, 2007 at 8:58 pm.Aye I arrived ok!
Posted by Ewan on November 21st, 2007 at 12:03 am.4 years ago, returning from 3GSM in Cannes, I was passing through security in Charles De Gaulle. Not usually a problem but I was carrying a laptop bag stuffed with mobile phones and the problem was that they were not mine, I could not identify all of them as some were models loaned under NDA, purely for private demonstrations on our stand. 1 hour later, I’d missed my flight, I was allowed to pass through and uttering a huge sigh of relief the inspector took it as some form of insult and hauled me back for a grilling. 7 hours I spent in the airport - a true misery of an experience.
Posted by Michael O'Brien on November 21st, 2007 at 1:08 pm.