The pain of the holstered cell phone
12 seconds.
It took me 12 seconds on American soil before I came across someone wearing his mobile phone on a belt holster.
It really, really annoys me.  For a good few years I’ve ‘casually introspected’ in the odd private moment about just WHAT winds me up about it. The best, most sensible set of explanations I’ve managed to get sound like this:
- It relegates the handset to ‘tool’ status. It’s not a hammer. Other big mobile cultures (I’m thinking Europe) generally frown upon mobile holstering as a result of a more personal connection with their device. They keep it in their pockets or handbags — closer to their person.
- There’s a degree of show-off-ish-ness that I just don’t like. Overtly advertising that you’re using a Motorola RAZR isn’t, by any definition at ALL, cool.
- I don’t like the wannabe-cowboy nature of it. Just now, sat here in the airport waiting for my transfer, a chap across from me jumped up in delight as his hip vibrated. He swooped the handset out of it’s holster in a practiced, smooth movement, worthy of Russell Crowe’s baddy in the recent cowboy flick, 3:10 to Yuma.
- The holsters themselves. Often oversized. You are either a master tradesman — plumber, electricial or the like (in which case, holster your handset as much as you wish) OR you’re not, in which case, put it in your pocket.
- I hold special annoyance for those holsters that are like little belt pockets.
- The line of the suit. Nothing worse than an executive with a huge Blackberry bulge on his hip.
- Double annoyance, guaranteed:Â A phone *IN* a cheapo and torn plastic cover, IN a holster.
- Triple annoyance: Make it a RAZR in a cheapo, torn plastic cover, IN a holster, and my blood pressure shoots off the scale.
I will see how I get on at CTIA. I think there will be a significant amount of holsters on show. I will see if I can get some classic demonstration pictures.
Could the same be said about those awful cell phone charms? they get in the way, serve no purpose, and just look unprofessional.
Posted by Kathie on March 30th, 2008 at 5:14 am.you kill me Ewan. I was just reading this post and nodding in agreement.
I was just at a barbeque today and there was a guy with his phone on a holster AND he was wearing MANdals… not a good look. At least it wasn’t a RAZR!
Posted by Michael Selvidge on March 30th, 2008 at 8:00 am.Heh, I wear a phone holster, and I’m not ashamed of it!
The e61 is just too damn big for my pockets.
What have you to say about the perpetually-attached bluetooth earpiece? Is this an American trait, or have Euros adopted it?
Posted by Tabor on March 30th, 2008 at 5:14 pm.yeah Ewan is so right about these holsters, very sad. But I have to say to those who walk round the street all day with a bluetooth earpiece, please take it off you just look silly. And what are mandals anyway?
Posted by steve procter on March 30th, 2008 at 8:03 pm.@ steve
Posted by Michael Selvidge on March 30th, 2008 at 9:01 pm.mandals are ‘man-sandals’
Re: mandals - why do they always insist on wearing them with really ugly brown or grey socks as well?!
Posted by Dan Lane on March 31st, 2008 at 12:22 am.oh yes, very bad indeed
but surely people who wear phone holsters wear cowboy boots and hats and chew on tobacco!?
Posted by steve procter on March 31st, 2008 at 7:43 am.Yeah Ewan, please give us your views on the perpetually-attached bluetooth earpiece!!
Posted by Dhruv on March 31st, 2008 at 8:46 am.And those show off iPhone users who actually take them out to use them in public, stroking them, smiling at them. Talk about “a degree of show-off-ish-ness that I just don’t like.” Let them take a hotel room if they need to make love to an object. Don’t whip it out where we all have to see it.
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Posted by Michael Markman on March 31st, 2008 at 9:21 am.@Tabor - what do you wear - latex?
I carry an iPhone, E61i and N95 everywhere. These cover every possible eventuality / mobile need (no, I’m not looking to loose any of them anytime soon. I don’t want to compromise on the key functionality each offers).
No problems disappearing into any halfway-decent jacket, and obviously any small bag will do the job. The only time I think I’d be in trouble is going for a swim.
I don’t think humanity has a problem carrying things - 50 years ago, everyone carried either cigarettes or pipe/tobacco + a lighter + wallet. A hundred years ago irt was pocketwatches & snuff, plus hankies. Two hundred years ago it was daggers and a cosh.
Maybe if you are into skintight jeans and a t-shirt, then yes 3 devices could be an encumberance, but then being dressed for clubbing would infer no need to carry anything expensive/productive. In that event, Nokia 6120c would do the job just fine.
But I agree whole-heartedly with Ewan. Tradesmen etc are exempt from the anti-holsterati’s derision. Anyone else needs to be dragged by the scruff of their short-sleeved white drip-dry shirt to the nearest bridge and dangled over the abyss by their beige Dockers, only being reprieved upon admission that they are not a cowboy or emergency services worker.
I refrain from applying the same logic to 20-stone Bluetooth-bedecked bald guys called Dave in white vans. I like my teeth.
/m
Posted by Mike on March 31st, 2008 at 10:10 am.Not so much bothered by the holster, especially on the bulky phones. I must point out my neighnour still walk with his Nokia 6110 (those old, early versions). . didnt know they still existed- thought it might be in a museum by now.
The blue tooth thingy…. that really annoys me. Feel like breaking the thingy and telling them they look like (sensored by author)
lol
Posted by Kev on March 31st, 2008 at 12:33 pm.…but this beats any holster hands-down…
http://crave.cnet.com/8301-1_105-9669666-1.html
Probably huge in eastern Europe, somewhere.
Posted by Mike on March 31st, 2008 at 12:38 pm.Ha. Love this.
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Posted by Rosario Doriott on April 2nd, 2008 at 5:23 pm.