Archive for Ben
So, the calendar ticks over once again. It’s strange how it seems that, the older you get, the faster the years spin past - some people put this down the effects of age on the brain, or because, as an adult, you have more to distract you, but I think it’s just because the one [...]
Continue ReadingI’m writing this in the embarrassing little gap between Christmas and New Year. Somebody once described this week-long period as being ‘the armpit of the year”, but I, personally, prefer to call it the barse, because it’s like that embarrassing little gap between your balls and your arse, simply because it holds no useful or [...]
Continue ReadingAaaaaah…Christmas. Time of too much food, too much booze, and, if you’re as clueless as me when it comes to chemistry, too much throwing-up as you try to settle your poor, bloated tummy with ten rennies washed down with vinegar. Christmas revolves around three things, traditionally - gluttony, watching television and touching base with family. [...]
Continue ReadingSomebody once said that there are three types of people in this world: those that can count, and those that can’t. I disagree - there are only two types of people; people that are good with money, and people like me, who are comically hopeless.
It’s a disease I’ve had my whole life and it’s [...]
This week — or last week, to be exactly accurate — Ben is not entirely impressed with QR codes and constant change in the mobile industry. Over to Ben…
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The thing about things is, they change. Although this is not the first time I’ve started an article with a statement that [...]
So mobiles have finally killed someone
About bloody time, I say..
I mean, god almighty - for ten, maybe fifteen years now we’ve all been shrugging off the spectre of mast-radiation, of brain-tumours in the same way that a duck shrugs off rain; it’s dull and it’s boring and, yet, it doesn’t do you the faintest bit [...]
Well, those ghastly little shoplifters, the Croatians, have done us in quite soundly. Having beaten us by one little goal they’ve deprived England of a place in Euro2008, effectively cancelling the bi-yearly festival of football & alcohol-abuse that graces this green & pleasant land. We’ll have to wait for the World Cup in 2010 until [...]
Continue ReadingThey say that the secret to great wealth is to sell cheaply to many. However, like a lot of things ‘they” say, this is total bollocks. It is rather better, after all, if you’re a salesman, to sell one Rolls Royce a month as opposed to one South-Bank hot-dog an hour.
A word on those [...]
There is a growing fashion, in the world of online publishing (the self-same world, my dear, sweet, reader, into which you are currently dabbling your delicious little toes) to consider the news itself as being something newsworthy. This is currently affecting out worlds by stories about stories - ‘iPhone coverage reaches frenzy” being one example [...]
Continue ReadingThis week’s column from Ben Harvey (look away if you react negatively to the word whorebox) makes a call from a telephone box whilst lost at midnight in deepest Hampshire.
And thus, we begin.
The Horror
Time, or, rather, the way we feel it pass, is a funny thing. Once something is more than a few [...]
Continue ReadingFriday, 3pm, it’s time for Ben Harvey’s weekly column. This week’s subject: Losing it
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Oh, god, there should be a word for it. You know that feeling, when you’ve been in an argument with someone, and you’re thinking back about what you said, and the perfect point, the perfect reply, the perfect [...]
Sit back in your office (or arm) chairs and take a read of this week’s column by our Friday regular Ben Harvey.
Ben attempts to explain why the room full of analysts, mobile industry executives and journalists at the Blyk launch this week weren’t quite all so sure about ‘free’ — especially when they [...]
Ben Harvey risks castration by discussing his long-distance text relationship with a girl called Charlie. Let’s hope she doesn’t Google him and find what he’s written..
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So, there was this girl. Oh! I wonder how many stories of heartbreak & regret have started with those five little words…anyway, there was this girl, whom I [...]
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and Ben Harvey is possibly from a small planet in the vicinity of Beetlejuice. This week, our favourite Friday afternoon provocative columnist talks about the differences between men and women.
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I do love stereotypes. I do! They make the world easier for my tiny mind [...]
Ben Harvey returns this week clutching his big book of Sunrise Times after dancing with the druids at Stonehenge.
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So, anyway, there I was, stood in a crowd of ten thousand hippies at four in the morning, all of us assembled just to watch the sun come up. I’m sure [...]
Ben Harvey returns with his weekly Friday afternoon column - and this week he’s looking into his crystal ball and making some predictions for the future.
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Looking back through the history of mobile telephony always reminds me of those terribly clichéd film montages of time-travel; you know the ones - pages fluttering down [...]
Inflammatory Mr Ben Harvey returns this week with a look at uber-popular reality show, Big Brother. The eigth series begun on Wednesday (you can get the whole shebang at www.channel4.com/bigbrother/. There’s always been speculation about housemates with secret mobile phone stashes, so Ben’s given the issue a bit of Friday afternoon treatment.
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Ben Harvey returns for another observation for a Friday afternoon, fresh from a week of relaxation in Portugal.
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They say that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone - mostly, this is true, especially in the areas of money & being happy with your own body. However, it really stands out, [...]
After talking about his experience with mobile phone retailers last week, SMS Text News reader Ben Harvey is back with a little Friday afternoon entertainment. Just don’t ask him about his day…
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I’m having one of those days. Like it or not, you and your mobile are partners and, like an [...]
SMS Text News reader, Ben Harvey, documents the seven deadly sins of mobile retail sales. Can you recognise them?
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I do love going into mobile phone outlets on the high-street. The same alluring smells that float out of your favourite restaurant, of your favourite car, the smells that relax [...]
Ewan on 