Mobile phone insurance provider, FoneShield, have just launched a Sharia compliant of their mobile phone insurance product. I’m sure this will be of interest to muslim mobile phone users — and interestingly, anyone who’s on the hunt for a more ethical insurance policy.

I’m not entirely sure how FoneShield’s insurance is more ethical than, say, some insurance bought on the high street. But there you go.

Amian Moaven, Director at FoneShield explains:

“Sharia compliant products are one of the fastest growth areas of the financial sector - evident in the recent issue of Sharia compliant Government bonds. In addition, they also compel us to meet an excellent ethical standard for our business and the respective insurance product. We are very excited about being the first in Europe to offer it as an option.”

More at www.foneshield.net.

Got this in from WStore. I haven’t been following the price of the HP iPAQ 514 but at 103 quid, it sounds like a good deal.

Wireless, bluetooth, camera, Micro-SD, WinMob 6.0, Outlook Mobile. 103 pounds. I could be tempted.

More here.

I’ve been reading about Nokia’s Tube. The supposed iPhone killer.

It looks a bit like an iPhone, some accounts say.

Well I’ll eat my hat if Nokia pull it off.

I’ve been wanting them to do actually innovate for a while. I don’t mean hair-brained innovation. I mean smart thinking; modifications that I don’t know that I need. Proof that the handset developer teams aren’t sat on their arses drinking a little too much Nokia kool-aid.

Now and again people have an argument with me. A pitched battle. They think I’m mean to Nokia with my coverage here on SMS Text News.

(SMS Text News is the 7th most influential site on the planet for the term Nokia, by the way, according to Buzzlogic. Phoneboy, you’re above me, I think.)

I’m always clear that I think, on balance, Nokia products are excellent. My E90, when I’m not chucking it in the back of oversized limos, works very well. It’s reliable, good battery, good facilities and so on.

Likewise, the Nokia N95 — still very much a brilliant handset.

But with stupid, stupid flaws.

That the designers rectified in — what — version 20 or something of the device. It finally takes pictures quickly, for example. And, er, the GPS — well, it’s a bit better.

But if you’re a standard normob with no idea — or inclination — to wipe your phone and upgrade it, then stuff you. You’ve got the shit version. It still works — mind — it’s still usable. That’s what I sometimes miss when I’m ranting. The key point, although I’m frequently annoyed with the lack of innovation or silly development issues, the handsets still *work*.

So this Nokia Tube.

If it’s an N95 in a smaller, sexier shape, I will go nuts.

If it’s actually innovative, I’ll be delighted. If it’s upgradable in-line, so that the development team can easily make updates when the smart readers of SMS Text News suggest them, fantastic. (”Witness Apple releasing the iPhone — no multi text function. OK, you want multi text? Ok. It’s done. Upgrade. There.”)

If it actually shows some original thought. If you can get music on to it with one click, if you can share stuff easily, if you can add applications piece-of-piss-style, brilliant.

My viewpoint is, unfortunately, that it’ll be another fake-smile launch. Let’s look at applications. You can actually do a lot with your N95. Order flowers, live-stream with Jaiku, book a flight to Las Vegas with ShopQwik, use maps, stream video — man there are TONS of things you can do with add-on applications.

The problem I’ve got is that *I* can do this. James Whatley can do this. YOU, dear reader, can do this.

My mother can’t.

My friends COULD but can’t be bothered. It’s too sodding difficult. Too annoying.

Even Windows Mobile is rubbish with applications. Ever tried installing Opera Mini or Google Mail on a Windows Smartphone? You get presented with a horrific set of ‘UNARCHIVING JAR’ bollocks. Total rubbish that’s presented to the consumer.

Try installing an application on a Nokia that isn’t signed. Normobs get very nervous when they get stupid and scary INVALID CERTIFICATE errors.

Apple get this.

You don’t get this kind of bollocks on an iPhone. Click, click done. If you’ve ever unlocked your iPhone and installed one of the application installer services, you’ll note that installing an application on your iPhone is an absolute dream. Click, install, thank you, it’s ready to be used. No arsing around.

You can agree or disagree with Apple’s desktop itunes application strategy. But it works. Shortly I will be able to buy an application on iTunes and have it loaded on to my iPhone without even thinking.

I reckon my mother could install an application on her device this way. And you know what, she would. If she read about some £30 application that helps you track your pet’s health or something — something relevant to her — she’d go on to iTunes, buy it and expect it to work. What’s more, it *would*. When Apple finally release their applications store, just sit and watch the innovation.

When we’re talking iPhone killers, I wonder just how Nokia is planning on handling applications, music, video…

Perhaps the best policy is to sit back and shut up. Yes.

Sit back and wait. Look. Explore. Then eat my hat. I’m well prepared to be astounded by Nokia. Perhaps that’s good news.

Perhaps that’s why Nokia simply vomited out the Nokia N96 (nicer shaped N95, bit higher spec): They were busy working away on the Tube. Bring it on.

We’ll see. I’ll be it’s biggest cheerleader if there’s clear innovation.

NTT Com’s engineers look like they might have a bit too much time on their hands: the company has revealed its planned to test its ‘Mobile Fragrance Communication (Kaori Tsushin Mobile)’ service for 10 days this month. Users taking part in the trial will be treated to smell emanating from their mobiles to accompany the content they’re viewing on the device.

The service will let users download Fragrance Playlists from i-mode, or files of recipes for specific fragrances together with visual and audio content, according to NTT. Using the phone’s infrared port, the fragrance data is transferred to a device that has been loaded with a selection of fragrances, with the device then mixes up to the right recipe and then emits them.

I can see the advertising appeal - the phone pumps out the smell of fresh bread when you see an ad for your local supermarket - but beyond that? But beyond that, the question remains what sort of content needs a smell to accompany it? The mind boggles.

For quite some time, I have been kicking the lowly Motorola RAZR handset (and all it’s variations). I thought I should be clear.

I don’t HATE the RAZR per se. And while, yes, you are right to fret about bringing out your RAZR in front of me should we meet, I want to be clear that I most certainly admire Motorola’s performance, particular here in America, where almost every second person I see is carrying some kind of RAZR.

The device itself is ancient, the operating system decrepit, the capabilities highly limited to calling people, texting and making it really difficult to do anything else. Mobile developer for a RAZR? Stop reading now. You should be busy trying to figure out how to make your applications look half way decent.

There’s a girl here in Starbucks annoying the hell out of me my talking really loudly and breathlessly.

NO WAYYYYY

NO.

NO?

SERIOUS? NO … ***WAYYYYY***

:: giggle ::

AND HE SAID WaaaaaaaaaaTTTTTT?

NO. NOOOO WAYYY! OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH!

Geez. Please lady. Save me. You can see a bit of her in the corner of that picture I snapped courtesy of my Apple Air iSight.

She is, I suspect, an All American Girl. She gives off an air of confidence and relaxed non-empathy. A bit George Bushish. If she had any empathy whatsoever she wouldn’t have unilaterally made the world hate her.

Anyway. My issue with her is that she’s speaking away on a RAZR. It’s been held tightly to her giggling head for the past 10 minutes. Not even my noise-cancelling sennheisers can keep her out of my ears. That and the screaming baby next to me aren’t helping my work, although, at least the baby isn’t using a RAZR.

It is at times like these during my mobile observations that I have to sit down, relax and admit publicly that Motorola really did get it right. I often kick them for their complete lack of innovation (the recent lot don’t look that bad) but they most certainly got the concept right with the RAZR.

Which is why so many people are carrying them. They are brilliant handsets. Brilliant. Ultra slim, reasonably good battery (let’s face it, all they’re doing is transmitting audio and the odd text message, there ain’t no GPS in this baby). Obviously the RAZRs are now entirely cheap — so when you’re considering your mobile contract, there’s a strong incentive to opt for, or renew your contract with a Motorola RAZR of some flavour. Entirely annoying for me — I want to see market innovation — but when the best possible choice these consumers are making is for the RAZR, what the hell happened to the marketplace?

It’s going to take years for this to filter out of the American market. Back in the UK and Europe we got over the ‘my god, it’s so SLIM!” thing a while ago. If you want slim, you can have it in many different shades — there are even some brilliant N-Series slim Nokias. But these Nokias actually *do* more than just call, or text.

So whilst I am getting reaaaally annoyed at the All American sat opposite me screaming and giggling away, polluting the whole coffee shop with her ‘like, yeah, like, ohmigosh’ audio, I thought it was time I accepted the RAZR for what it is.

Good job.

It’s now time for me to turn my Seenheiser up to 11.

The zzzPhone: The first mass-consumer customisable mobile handset.

I can’t tell you how exciting it was, a few months ago, flicking through the zzzPhone order form and choosing the specification of my new handset. GPS or no? How much memory? Size of camera? Did you say 7 megapixel? Heh. It was brilliant.

I ended up just buying a standard handset at $149 (70 odd quid) just to begin with.

And it arrived. I had it shipped to my US address despite the fact that this version wasn’t meant to work in the States.

And what, ho, Brabantio? It’s arrived.

I got back to the hotel room, switched off everything and took a deep breath. Right, then. Let’s open it up.

First, let’s be clear: zzzPhone isn’t a fraud, it isn’t make believe. They’re a team of committed people and I’ve been talking with Jesse, their US representative, regularly. So if you’ve any questions about the device, go ahead and post them below and I’ll get answers pronto.

Thank you to the custom chappies who saw fit to rip open the package and resealing it with an elastic band:

And the box, let’s have a look at that:

There’s a bit too much of that spongey fat font for my liking. I’d like to see something a little bit more ‘branded’. Still.

Dual SIM? I forgot! And it’s got a touch screen. Forgot about that too. Replete with stylus, I might add. I won’t be using that myself.

And the specifications on the side? Let’s have a look:

And a closer look at the device picture:

Always time for a bit of an arty shot:

And now, let’s open the box!

Woosh. A manual! I wasn’t really expecting a manual — your average purchaser of a zzzPhone, I reckon, could probably get by without one. I suppose it’s a necessary addition.

Under the manual? Here’s the phone itself:

Closer:

Yes those are chinesey looking characters — or are they Arabic? — on each of the keys. Interesting.

And two batteries:

Smart. They’re big mothers too.

Speaking of big — that’s the zzzPhone too. It’s a big device. It fits lightly in your hand, but it’s a little bigger than your average Nokia.

It’s actually Sony Ericsson P990 sized. That’ll be your camera there:

3.2 mega pixel, Carl Zeiss?

This zzzPhone would definitely double as a useful anti-mugger device too:

Here it is next to my Blackberry Curve:

I opened up the back. There’s the two sim card slots:

Plus a 256mb (supplied) SD card:

The stylus is bottom right…

It’s a non-standard (at least, to me, anyway) port. I was hoping for standard mini-USB so that I only need to continue to carry one lead. Slightly different with the zzzPhone:

You get a USB cable and charger in the box.

And I got this handy ‘cell phone flash light’ that you tape/glue to the back of your phone:

A wee gift!

The battery is a huge mother. I’m pleased you get two. Here it is pictured next to the Samsung BlackJack II battery:

Let’s switch it on, eh? I spoke to Jesse earlier wondering why the device was able to operate even when I’d taken the battery out. That really confused me. “It’s got a 20 minute integrated backup battery,” he replies, “Although the newer version we’re about to launch doesn’t,”. That’s a brilliant offering, a 20-min bit of extra juice to rely on, he goes on, “I was watching a movie on that little battery alone.”

Smart.

I’m liking the idea of having two ‘call’ buttons to press — button 1 calls, I imagine, with your primary sim card and vice versa:

If the device itself is big, then so is the screen. Massive. Bright. Nice:

I set up the clock:

It’s running an operating system by the name of Nucleus (website). I haven’t come across that myself. The next version of the device (available soon) will work everywhere (including America) and it’ll be running Windows Mobile 6.0 (no word on 6.1 upgrade as yet).

It doesn’t, alas, work in the States yet so I’m getting SIM Access Error messages together with ‘activating’ messages. I’ll try it properly when I hit the UK later this week.

So. Well, it’s definitely real. For quite a while a lot of readers have been emailing and commenting on the site wondering when the device was going to arrive. You can go ahead and place orders now via www.zzzphone.com for the next version of the device. I’ll see if I can get hold of one of those to look at shortly.

It’d be inappropriate to comment on the day to day usability of the device at this stage. I’ve not really had much of an opportunity to use the device as yet since it’s not US compatible. But I will definitely be giving it a run-through this week and I will report back.

I haven’t managed to catch an episode of the BBC’s The Apprentice yet. I gather the new series started a few weeks ago. It’s fascinating entertainment.

The key news, for me, anyway, is that they’ve stopped giving all the Apprentices Nokia E61s. Instead, this year they’ve kitted everyone out with Nokia N95s. I got this piece of knowledge from our very own Whatleydude. Have you noticed this?

I reckon the apprentices should be kitted out with E90s, myself. The E90’s speakerphone is probably one of the best on the market and it’s pretty sexy opening up the device when you’re on a phone call and having it switch to speakerphone mode immediately. That’s good TV, that….

LG has revealed that the third of its Black Label handsets will be out before the end of the month in Europe. The successor to the Chocolate and the Shine hasn’t got a name yet, but LG is promising it will be a good looking, slim device.

Details on what the device will hold are also being kept under wraps but there’s a 5 megapixel camera on it and will feature materials like carbon fibre and tempered glass, according to LG.

The Chocolate was a thing of beauty when it came out, the Shine less so. I’m looking forward to finding out more about what the third Black Label holds.

Did you get an email in from Nokia inviting you to take their Nokia for Business survey? Chances are, if you’ve visited the Nokia site recently (to download Mail for Exchange, for example) then you’ll be getting the invitation.

I’ve been giving it great attention this evening, clicking all the buttons, selecting the relevant options and going great guns on any of the text boxes asking for feedback… Here’s hoping it’ll get to the executives there.

Half way through it at the moment.

Now in San Francisco, I headed back to my old place of residence and picked up the package that arrived for me last week.

I wasn’t quite sure what it was until I got there and spied the zzzPhone logo. Right on! It’s here!

I’ll unpack it, charge it and have a look!

I took the above picture with my new Windows Mobile Samsung Blackjack II

I’ve always had a problem with Windows Mobile. It’s always seemed to me that whatever handset you had (i.e. regardless of manufacturer), Windows Mobile and Windows for Smartphones was always, always comparatively useless if you wanted to do anything other than use the device sequentially.

It seemed natural to me to use instant messenger, email, maps and web browsing, not to mention other applications simultaneously. Do this on a Windows Mobile handset and it will quickly come to a halt with beautifully rendered egg timers. You’ll be totally screwed if someone picks that moment to call you. The phone will sort-of-ring for a milisecond. You won’t know who’s calling because the OS can’t get enough resource to look up the address book. Try and answer and the hardware doesn’t talk to the OS quick enough because the OS is too busy trying to render an animation or play a ‘you’ve missed a call’ audio notification. This has been my Windows Mobile experience for the last, what, 5 years or so.

The device is fine if you do one thing on it. If you use it for a calendar, for example. Or to write text messages. Don’t you dare do more than one thing at once.

Well, I went along to the Microsoft Pool Party for the media this week at CTIA. Aside from excellent event management, I was able to get a look — via a chap called Derek — at the new Windows Mobile 6.1. It’s a bit different. I was shocked to see fast menu animations as Derek navigated the device and showed a projected view of the device screen on a big plasma.

“Er, wait, do that again,” I had to ask as he flicked through text message, calendar items, the inbox and so on.

I nearly gasped. Animation that doe-does-doesn-doesn’t freeze half way through. A fast and usable front-end interface? Gosh.

Impressed. I created a video of Derek showing off the various features. I’ll post it up shortly. I resolved to try and take a look at version 6.1 soon.

I didn’t have to wait long. Microsoft being the multi-billion dollar professionals that they are, they had decided to offer all party visitors a Samsung Blackjack II device in a goodie bag, along with a Microsoft branded bottle of mineral water. I always worry about giving devices to journalists. Secretly, I don’t think a lot of them deserve free devices, especially if they take one look at the device then stick it on their pile of other free handsets.

The chap from Weber Shandwick, Microsoft’s PR, correctly recognised that I was a Brit.

“You need a test sim card?” he asked.

“Er, well,” I thought of my E90 — which I *still* had at that point, “I’ve got my UK sim card that I could use,”

“Wait, let me get you one,” he said. Smart thinking. I’d be more likely to spend time playing with the device if I wasn’t paying a good few quid per meg to Vodafone UK for the privilege of international roaming.

I stuck in the sim card when I got back to my hotel room and charged the device. The front menu screens are much improved. The animation is very well done. There are far less UI freezes — in fact, I’ve witnessed none so far and I’ve been using the device regularly for most of the week, more so since the E90 was half-inched (”pinched” / lost).

Anyway, I am delighted with the 6.1 improvements. I think I’ll give it another week of use and knock up a viewpoint on it.

And to the subject of this post. Every email I send has ‘Sent from my Windows Mobile(r) phone’ appended to the bottom as a signature. Finally. Nice one Microsoft. It’s about time they did the same as Blackberry in that regard. There is nothing wrong with owning a Windows Mobile.

Spare few hundred dollars burning a whole in your pocket? Want an iPod Touch or another similar gizmo? Noise-canceling headphones, maybe? Good news. They’re all available, right-away, from this very cool vending machine. A very handy service if you’ve forgotten your iPod charging cable or if you want an extra memory card for your camera.

There are no phones for sale in this particular machine — the closest is the Touch. I wonder how successful these machines are. Quite a few people were staring at it as I found it but across an hour I didn’t see anyone make a purchase. I like the idea though.

Got this in from Vlad on the subject of making sure my new E90 is never lost for long:

- - -

Hi Ewan!

There’s an app called Guardian by Symbian Toys (Marco Bellino is the name of the developer) that’s under heavy development and in closed beta right now, but the launch seems imminent. It does pretty much everything you asked for. Zach Epstein reviewed one of the previous beta versions here:

http://news.mobile9.com/s60apps/2008/01/24/preview-guardian-3rd-edition-by-symbian-toys/

Available right now is Phone Guardian by Symbian Guru (sadly, not Ricky, but the company). It has some of the functionality that Guardian will have.

http://www.symbianguru.com/phone-guardian-s60-3.html

Needless to say, both these require to be installed on the phone before it gets lost or stolen, but they might be of help with your new E90.

Hope the new E90 doesn’t go the way of its predecessor.

Cheers!
Vlad

- - -

Nice one Vlad, I’ll need to try that one out.

Thanks to everyone who contributed ideas on this post, I also need to check out Txt2lock.com and Yougetitback.com as well.

I lost my Nokia E90 on Wednesday. I should have had some sort of software on the phone to locate it. I lost it in the space of a 20-30 minute period, so it would have been useful to have been able to query the handset itself, somehow.

After publishing my tail of woe, I’ve had a few suggestions

Mark Hulyer of Awareness Tech emailed:

- - -

Sorry to hear about your E90 but if you had installed our NEO-TRAX software then at least you’d know where it is right now. In fact if it was on the move thus meaning someone has dishonestly acquired and it’s not just stuck under a slot machine somewhere gathering dust, you would be able to track this in real time via GPS street by street to the actual house. Add to that the ability to switch on your E90’s microphone or listen in to calls or even read any SMS traffic. You could let the “thief” know by SMS or call them, even if they have changed the SIM, that you are about to send a text to all his friends (cos you now cleverly have copies of all their texts), that Mr “X” has a stolen phone and you are about to lock it down or just send an instruction to make the phone “scream”. Nothing would happen on your lost or stolen E60 Ewan without you knowing or remotely controlling it. Certainly will achieve some kind of result that’s without hesitation.

- - -

I really like the idea of being able to see what’s going on with my handset. It’s bugging me quite a lot to know that the powerful device is either sat somewhere gathering dust, or being used by a total arse. So I’d like to see if it was being used and if it’s location was changing. Further, I am particularly impressed at the possibility of being able to turn on the phone’s microphone and listen in to calls. That would be brilliant! It’s almost worth losing a handset deliberately to try that out. I wonder just how it works.

In his email, Mark also offered SMS Text News reders a free trial of their NEO-TRAX software — just email support (at) awarenesstech.info quoting me. When I get my new E90, I think I’ll need to give it a go!

Thanks Mark!

Do not adjust your sets. This is Rafe, Mr Symbian (Editor, All About Symbian) at lunch yesterday using both a Nokia N95 8GB and a new Motorola Q9 running Windows Mobile 6.1. He’d already synched the Moto with his exchange server and was thoroughly enjoying the device’s rather good email functionality. I’m not sure if All About Windows Mobile will arrive shortly though.

So, I lost my Nokia E90. Big, beefy MAN of a handset. It’s languishing somewhere, in Las Vegas. I have decided that it has been lost, rather than stolen. It is conceivable that someone reached into my jacket pocket and stole the device — but I reckon it’s 90% likely that I just lost it. Silly. Stupid. Idiot.

But, you know, I’m paying 6 or 7 pounds a month — or something similar — to Vodafone for the privilege of not going into panic mode when in this situation.

My experience with Vodafone has been highly positive.

At midday I phoned them via my 3UK handset at some ridiculous per-minute rate and explained that I’d lost the handset. They put an outgoing call block on the sim just in case I wanted the flexibility of being able to phone the handset to try and find it. I’ve rung it a few times. Nothing. It just rings out.

The insurance folk were closed so the helpful lady was unable to transfer me. Fair enough. I said I’d phone back later — fast forward to 130am Las Vegas time and I phoned up and spoke to the insurance people.

I gave a few details, described the circumstances. £25 deductible. Fine!

“No problem sir, your new E90 will be with you tomorrow morning.”

Brilliant.

I won’t get hold of the handset until I get back next week, but still, at least I know it’ll be waiting for me upon my return.

Right on Vodafone, that was a painless experience.

This will, of course, seriously ensure that I keep my international calls to a minimum.

“What do you think of Samsung’s latest handsets?” a colleague of mine, another mobile blogger, asked me as we walked by the Samsung stand this afternoon.

“Er…” I said, “Well, I liked the look of that new Instinct they’ve got on Sprint, I saw it last night at that MobileFocus event, thanks to a smart chap from their PR.”

“Don’t they keep you updated with what they’re doing?” he asked.

“Er no,” I replied.

Why would they? No doubt they have an efficient communications medium when it comes to the supersites such as Engadget, however it’s rare to come across a mobile handset manufacturer that understands blogs or, perhaps more importantly, has a working blog relations strategy.

Nokia is the run-away leader in mobile blog relations. They’ve two main setups that I’m aware of. There’s a Nokia USA blogger program and a WOMWorld offering. As far as I’m aware anyone, whether you’re writing about mobile or otherwise, can talk to the leaders of these two operations and, provided you meet certain criteria, get admitted and in the door, to receive test devices and so on.

Smart. Although I’m supremely unconvinced on the nature of geographic dispersal. Why a US program and WOMWorld? Who knows. Whether it makes sense or not, at least it’s there. At least there’s a bit of interaction.

The only other handset manufacturer that I can think of who has a blog relations operation of sorts is Sonim Technologies, makers of the JCB ToughPhone. Although far less formal than Nokia’s, you can give Robin Dhara a call (if you want his details, let me know) and, again, he’ll talk to you about what they’re up to.

LG had a brilliant blog relations program run for them by the top PR chaps, Hill and Knowlton. H&K did an excellent job managing it until LG said (I’m paraphrasing) ‘er, that’s it, thanks, that’s the end of the launch’ and, (against some rather vehement advice from H&K, I suspect) shut down the sodding blog. Idiots. No idea whatsoever.

Trying out an HTC device (the HTC Touch) was like getting blood out of a stone.

I’d like to get hold of more devices to put them in the hands of qualified SMS Text News readers to do reviews. I’m not interested in how many megapixels or what the battery wattage is, I’m far more interested in the evolution, the consumer ‘end-reality’ and the potential of the devices to change or influence the market. For that you need to sit and play with the device, evaluate it and show it to loads of folk. Then sit back and do a lot of thinking about it. Difficult to do in 7 days.

I think, however, it’s going to continue to be a total arse because mobile manufacturers simply don’t understand how to talk to blogs. In fact a lot of them do their level best to persecute them, including, for example, preventing people from taking pictures of their devices on stands at shows, sending ‘orrible legal letters to keen fans and so on.

Are you aware of any companies who have a formal blog relations strategy in operation?

Motorola? Probably not or someone would have hoped in to defend the poor RAZR every time I comment, on it, eh?

Sony Ericsson? I don’t quite know if Sony Ericsson have hit the year 2000 yet, let alone got to grips with bloggers.

Fly Mobile? Sagem?

Is it really just Nokia that are ruling the roost?

I made the mistake of going into Cellular Superstore in the Fashion Show Mall, here in Las Vegas.  I would have taken a picture but I seriously couldn’t be bothered to give them more than the attention I’d already wasted on them.I thought I’d go in and buy a pay-as-you-go handset.  My Helio and my Motorola on Sprint are both in my luggage — and that’s still back in London being dicked about with by some entirely inept British Airport Authority / British Airways people at the newly launched-and-failed Terminal 5.I walked in and was surprised to find maybe 90% of the floorspace dedicated to tacky rubbish phone covers, charms and whatnot.  Keep in mind that the Fashion Show Mall is all about high quality international brands — SAKS, Abercrombie, etc — so this was a bit of a sidestep.  No wonder the shop was a bit round-the-corner away from most of the big shops.  Confused, not seeing any actual handsets I scanned the shop until I saw a selection at the back.  [Insert winning American service]“Can I help you?” asks the young lady.  Brilliant.  They’re awfully good at this sort of thing — and Las Vegas, well, they’re specialists at lifting the cash from your wallet.”Prepay handset please?”She pointed to a piece of rubbish unbranded thing, “This is on T-Mobile and it’s $169.”"Er,” I said, “Sorry, 169 DOLLARS is that? Not pesetas?”"Yes?” she said innocently.”You can get a prepay handset for $20 in any other store, and a reasonably good one for $60 odd?” I said, sort of as a question.She looked a bit annoyed.”This one is $169.”OK, I thought. Right, “What about a SIM card?”"60 dollars,”Heh.  I burst out laughing, staring at her, slight incredulity wrapped across my face.I raised my eyebrows, smiled, thanked her for her time and walked out the store.  Then picked up a $60 Samsung, complete with $10 credit, from the Verizon stall.The chap at the concession was really efficient.  He activated the phone for me and I walked away from the stall with my phone activated and ready to use.  Then phoned British Airways 800 number (without sweating at Vodafone’s ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE PENCE / min international rate)  to find out my bag is still in London.  But will be with me… ’soon’. 

12 seconds.

It took me 12 seconds on American soil before I came across someone wearing his mobile phone on a belt holster.

It really, really annoys me.   For a good few years I’ve ‘casually introspected’ in the odd private moment about just WHAT winds me up about it.  The best, most sensible set of explanations I’ve managed to get sound like this:

-  It relegates the handset to ‘tool’ status.  It’s not a hammer.  Other big mobile cultures (I’m thinking Europe) generally frown upon mobile holstering as a result of a more personal connection with their device.  They keep it in their pockets or handbags — closer to their person.

- There’s a degree of show-off-ish-ness that I just don’t like.  Overtly advertising that you’re using a Motorola RAZR isn’t, by any definition at ALL, cool.

-  I don’t like the wannabe-cowboy nature of it.  Just now, sat here in the airport waiting for my transfer, a chap across from me jumped up in delight as his hip vibrated.  He swooped the handset out of it’s holster in a practiced, smooth movement, worthy of Russell Crowe’s baddy in the recent cowboy flick, 3:10 to Yuma.

- The holsters themselves.  Often oversized.  You are either a master tradesman — plumber, electricial or the like (in which case, holster your handset as much as you wish) OR you’re not, in which case, put it in your pocket.

- I hold special annoyance for those holsters that are like little belt pockets.

- The line of the suit. Nothing worse than an executive with a huge Blackberry bulge on his hip.

- Double annoyance, guaranteed:  A phone *IN* a cheapo and torn plastic cover, IN a holster.

- Triple annoyance: Make it a RAZR in a cheapo, torn plastic cover, IN a holster, and my blood pressure shoots off the scale.

I will see how I get on at CTIA.  I think there will be a significant amount of holsters on show.  I will see if I can get some classic demonstration pictures.

Blackstock Road, Finsbury Park, North London, is apparently — according to the Daily Telegraph — a one stop shop where up to 40% of stolen mobile phones in Britain are sold. I wonder if that’s where my phonejacked Nokia N95 headed up?

Yesterday, 600 Police Officers swooped on the street and arrested over 70 people suspected of trading in drugs, stolen goods and fake passports. 300 mobile phones, 120 laptops, 110 cameras, 32 iPods and a load of SatNav units were recovered.

Read more.

Or, watch it on Telegraph TV:

If you’re having a problem with a 3 phone that you’ve just had delivered, don’t worry.  Everyone else is.  At least, that’s according to the IVR message on the 3 Shop helpline.  Have a listen to the first bit of this audio file (it’s a link to a WAV file).

Just keep switching your handset off and on, advises the line.

And stay tuned for the full story on why this audio file exists.

As the owner of 33.5 million Motorola shares, Carl Icahn watches them carefully.  He’s been none to impressed with their performance to date.  Me either.  They really need to up their game.  Spinning out the handset division is, I think, a good move, if that means that they’ll be able to focus.

After having published recent news that the Motorola Board is considering a split, Icahn whacked out this release which, for posterity, I have documented in full.  It’s wickedly written.  Heh.  I can’t imagine how some of the old fuddy duddy Motorla Board executives are reacting to this.

                              Carl C. Icahn
                        c/o Icahn Associates Corp.
                       767 Fifth Avenue, 47th Floor
                           New York, NY  10153

                              March 26, 2008

  Board of Directors
  Motorola, Inc.
  131 E. Algonquin Road
  Schaumberg, Illinois  60196

  Ladies and Gentlemen:

Today’s — much delayed and long overdue — announcement regarding the spin-off of the Mobile Devices business and the establishment of two fully independent companies with separate management teams and Boards is clearly a step in the right direction. As you know, for some time I have argued that this should be done. However, as one of the largest Motorola stockholders, I continue to have concerns about the speed and manner in which a new management team is selected for the Mobile Devices business and the separation transaction is consummated. Time is of the essence and decisive action is required to reposition the Mobile Devices business for success as an independent company. Furthermore, today’s announcement begs a few key questions:

      1. Why will it take you until sometime in 2009 to accomplish the
         separation?

      2. Why does it take the threat of a proxy fight for you to make
         promises we all want to hear?

      3. Do you intend to carry out your proposals or will it be a repeat of
         last year’s proxy fight strewn with a string of broken commitments?
         Obviously the tepid reaction of the market manifests shareholders’
         views concerning the value of your commitment.  The only statement
         made in your conference call we totally agree with is that . . .
         “there can be no assurances that any transaction will ultimately
         occur.”

You stated during today’s conference call, “we discussed Board Nominees with Carl Icahn and we proposed two nominees and he declined.” Again this is only partially true. It is true that Sandy Warner, head of the Nominating Committee called me and offered seats to two of my Nominees if I would drop the proxy fight. However, you failed to mention in your conference call that I told Mr. Warner that I would gladly accept this offer if the Board would also accept Keith Meister. Mr. Warner replied summarily to this offer that Meister did not “qualify.” I asked Mr. Warner what does one have to do to qualify — lose $37 billion dollars? Mr. Warner then replied that the Board did not “know” Meister. My answer was that Meister would fly anywhere at any time to meet the Board so they could “know” him (I did mention that the situation at Motorola is too serious for the Board to remain a country club). My offer to Motorola stills stands.
You have stated to the press that our request for information about what steps the Board actually took to correct the problem at Motorola is an unnecessary distraction. We disagree. In a political election when constituents believe their representatives’ performance was inadequate, they are certainly not denied information as to whether their representative acted in a grossly negligent fashion. Why should it be different in Corporate America?
I do however agree with you that this proxy fight is a distraction that Motorola at this junction can ill afford. If as you have stated, we all want to benefit the stockholders of Motorola, then what possible reason is there for not putting Keith Meister on the Board. After all, how much can he eat at the Board meetings? On a positive side, having a highly intelligent, energetic individual like Keith, who has 145 million reasons to spend his time working toward the spin-off being accomplished, may well make this promise come true in a timely fashion.
We ask the Board meet with Meister, put egos aside and let’s get on with the urgent business at hand.
Sincerely,

Carl C. Icahn

Let’s see what happens, eh?

Terrence, a regular SMS Text News reader (and Scrabble regional finalist) , decided to test the UK mobile retail market from the point of view of a standard customer wanting to buy a pay as you go handset. Fascinating results. Have a read…

- - -

With all the talk of contract, tariffs, mobile browsing and cool new services, we often forget that the high street shop is the main point of interaction that customers have with their phone company.

So, I set myself a simple challenge. Go and buy a Sony Ericsson K800i on prepay from each of the major operators - Orange, O2, T-Mobile, Three and Vodafone.

So, what’s the buying experience like at the sharp end of phone retailing? Given that CarphoneWarehouse and Phones4U limit the number of handsets you can buy in one transaction, I decided to try the networks’ own stores in Central London…

Orange
- - -

The two sales people were engaged with customers and chatting (fairly accurately) about the phones on offer. After five minutes of pointed browsing and trying to catch someone’s eye, I got bored and left.

Score: 0/10 maybe I’d have had better luck in a bigger store.

Three
- - -
Took a quick peek in their store. Was pounced on by an eager sales assistant’s, “Can I help you?”
“I’d like a K800i on prepay please.”
“Yes sir!”

…

…
Fifteen. Fricking. Minutes. Later…. It took four sales assistants to work the till. They kept trying to charge me £300 for a phone that
cost £129.99, they couldn’t register my details, they were confused by shiny objects floating in the air.

Score: 3/10 I got my phone but it was like pulling teeth.

T-Mobile
- - -
A busy store, but I managed to grab a salesman. He whisked himself away to the basement to fetch my phone. And never returned.

ell - he did several minutes later. Only to be distracted by customers trying to complain to him. When he finally extracted himself he sauntered over with a cheery “None in stock, mate.” No effort to cross sell, no indication as to where I could buy one. He was obviously more interested in a contract commission than a prepay sale.

Score: 1/10 not the way I expect to be treated as a potential customer.

O2- - -
I was promptly greeted as I entered the store. On informing them I wanted a prepay phone, I was shuttered off to Brian The Trainee. I’m not sure whether Brian The Trainee was mute or just sullen about not selling any iPhones. The whole transaction proceeded in silence, no small talk, no cross sell, nothing. Service was slow, but I’ll make allowances as he was only learning the ropes.

core: 7/10 good competent service.

Phones4U
- - -
I’d vowed never to set foot in a P4U after they sold me a second hand phone with someone else’s details still on it. Still, that was 7 years ago - so maybe it was time to give them a second chance.

Sales assistant was brisk, efficient and chatty. No pressure to buy insurance or anything like that - the total antithesis of P4U’s reputation.
He did have to spend some time on hold to Orange to register the handset - apparently Oranges online system was offline - but he kept me informed the whole way through what was happening.

Score 8/10 a good sales experience marred by Orange’s systems.

CarphoneWarehouse
- - -
The greeter snootily dismissed me to one side of the shop as soon as the word “Prepay” passed my lips. The sales assistant vanished into the basement to fetch the T-Mobile SIM and K800i. In the meantime, I was treated to two sales assistants complaining about their boss, their customers and their lives in general.

he sales assistant reappeared, took a puzzled look at the order screen and scurried away again. I was left listening to his colleagues try and get their head office on the phone to resolve a customer complaint.

hen the sales assistant reappeared, he had an unbranded phone with him.

“Will that work with T-Mobile T-Zones?” I asked.
“Ummmmm…. dunnno… should do.”
“Should do or will do?”
“I’ll get the manager.”

The manager explained how to get the settings on the unbranded phone - visit the website, type in your phone number.

“D’ya won a memikid?” said the sales assistant.
“Excuse me?” I said
“Do. You. Want. A. Mem. Ory. Card?” He said with barely concealed contempt.
“No thanks”.

Overall score: 5/10 I got my phone but it was not a pleasant sales experience.

Vodafone
- - -
I’ve not written about my experience in a Vodafone store. I work for Big Red (they pay my bills but they don’t pay me to blog) so I don’t think it would be appropriate to comment. Besides, I’d be accused of being biased. But I’d be interested in hearing what you think.

On returning home I got a phone call from my credit card company. They’d detected an unusual purchasing pattern on my card and had blocked my account!

Conclusions
- - -
Customer service is dead. It has ceased to be. Bereft of life….. you get the picture. At times I felt like I was in Royston Vasey - in a local shop for local people.
If I was treated this way in any other type of shop, I wouldn’t return in a hurry. But I guess that’s what most shops bank on - they sell
once and don’t see you for another 18 months, if ever.

Prepay customers are second class citizens - the sales staff are really only interested in making a big commission on a contract and will turf you to a trainee if you’re not going to make them any cold hard cash..

In any other store picking a box off the shelf, swiping it through the till and taking payment would take less than a minute. In the world of mobile you’ll be lucky to be out of there within ten minutes.

Oh, and don’t buy a bunch of prepay phones on credit card. The police will probably think you’re a terrorist….

Am I alone in receiving such appalling service in store - or are all stores this bad?

The board of directors has been busy at Motorola. Busy.

Engadget is reporting that the Moto board is planning on splitting the behemoth into two independent, publicly traded companies. Entity one: Handsets. Entity two: The other stuff.

Engadget is right to point at Palm, I suspect:

Greg Brown, Motorola’s president and CEO, says the reason for the split is easy, “Creating two industry-leading companies will provide improved flexibility, more tailored capital structures, and increased management focus - as well as more targeted investment opportunities for our shareholders.”

Right, weren’t those the reasons for the Palm split? The matter is of course subject to regulatory approvals, but Motorola hopes that the transaction is complete “in 2009.”

We shall see.

What the hell is it with Nokia and their piece of crap Software Updater.

I was just writing a text message and wanted to put my name at the end.  Turns out Ewan doesn’t exist in the dictionary.  I had to add it.

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY PHONE?” I’m thinking to myself.  Oh yes, then I remember.  It’s a sodding Nokia and I made the mistake of assuming — (Make’s an ass out of ‘u’ and me, right?) that ‘backup’ includes stuff like your dictionary and whatnot. Clearly not.

Stupid, stupid, arse, arse, stupid.

The Nokia Backup function should be renamed as ‘generally, backs up most stuff, complete with random annoying exceptions and stupid things you expect a multi billion dollar company to have though of’.