Link: Orange Value Promise not as much value as promised | The Register

Having spent the past few weeks merrily redefining the the word ‘unlimited’ even more so than it’d been screwed previously by their competitors and the broadband sector, Orange have apparently set their sights on price matching.

Back in the day, price match meant just that - retailer B would match retailer’s A’s price - and sometimes even beat it, whilst nodding with gritted teeth as the poor sales bloke waves goodbye to a large chunk of his commission. However, Orange don’t seem to get that. Cue a run-in with the Advertising Standards Agency and Trading Standards..

Orange UK is falling short of its promise that it can match the tariff from any other network, right down to the way it’s charged, for business customers.

When one customer asked Orange for an unlimited data tariff matched to a competitor they were told: “We do offer Orange Value Promise but we do not match ALL deals especially promotional deals with ALL networks. We only select a few in which we match.”

This comes despite the commitment outlined on its website. Promising to match some of the competitors’ less competitive tariffs, at your discretion, is hardly compelling.

Right, I think I get this. If Orange feel that a competitors tariff is close enough in cost and description to their own, they can match it. That’s very generous, pat on the back to the marketing bods at Orange who came up with that wheeze.

Think it couldn’t get any worse? Check this, from the same article.

Orange has been in touch to make it clear that their billing system isn’t capable of supporting a tariff like Web ‘n Walk; it’s just too complicated. Therefore they have no obligation to offer it; according to clause 2.10 of their terms and conditions, despite what they promised.

This is particularly odd given the recent launch of their own unmetered tariff for consumers.

I’m.. well.. lost for words. So the great citrus have just launched a tariff, that apparently offers ‘unlimited’ web browsing, but their billing system can’t support it - and even if it could, they’re under no obligation to offer it anyway.

You just couldn’t make this stuff up.. If anyone from Orange fancies getting in touch and clarifying this little mess, I’d love to hear from you.

Link: Virgin Trains speeds towards on-board 3G mobile network - 11/May/2007 - ComputerWeekly.com

Virgin Trains is partnering with mobile operator Orange to improve on-board 2G and 3G mobile voice and data services to Virgin Voyager passengers. Eighteen Voyager trains have already been upgraded, and the system will ultimately benefit passengers on all 78 trains operating on the cross country and North Wales routes.

Excellent news, and quite relevent to anyone who spends time on one of Virgin’s new shiny trains. I was on a Pendalino from London to Birmingham about a week ago, and had virtually no T-Mobile coverage at all. The article goes on to explain why..

Orange developed technology to overcome the radio frequency signal blocking effect that is a result of the metallised glass on new train carriages. The system uses antennae on carriage roofs to receive outside signals, which are then replicated through a bank of repeaters placed inside the train.

Aha, a faraday cage - just as I thought. Still, it’s one way of enforcing the quiet carriage that some train companies operate!

Link: Orange’s attempt at fighting call cards >> Communication Breakdown >> David Meyer’s Blog at ZDNet UK Community

News just in from France Telecom’s local subsidiary: it’s introducing a “simple and low cost” way to call abroad. Is it lowering its international call rates? No! Don’t be silly. It’s putting out the Call Abroad pay-as-you-go SIM, which offers “the cheapest rates currently available for international calls”. Only 8p a minute to my native South Africa? Huzzah.

I was particularly interested to read David Meyer’s post that was brought to my attention by an SMS Text News reader.

Definitely worth a read.

It seems Orange have seen fit to introduce a new pay as you go sim card that offers reasonably good rates abroad.

If you’re a normal pay as you go customer, then screw you. With bells on. You’ll need to get hold of this special sim card to get the benefits.

Crazy. But worth it, if you’re an operator desperate to protect your semi-dwindling revenues. Good rates = good news. Just… well it’s just an arse messing around with more and one sim card isn’t it…

So, to all the people reading who emailed me saying ‘Right, but that Orange flat rate data plan will be a pile of shite’, I say this: You were right.

Me? I was erring on the side of positivity. I was hoping that by saying ‘unlimited browsing’ they meant unlimited data — which is what Three often say. Three regularly use the word ‘browsing’ because it’s a good consumer-friendly term. But they give you an open pipe.

Orange, on the other hand… Well, have a wee read…

Link: Orange does flat-rate data bundles - Mobile & Wireless - Breaking Business and Technology News at silicon.com

Orange has introduced flat-rate mobile data bundles for the first time.
The mobile operator’s contract customers will be able to sign up for a bundle allowing them unlimited surfing for £8 per month. A bundle for evening and weekend browsing is priced at £5 per month. Alternatively, customers can opt for a daily cap of £1 per day.

Sounds good, right?

…
Now read…

An Orange spokesperson said: “The bundled prices won’t include VoIP or IM. We advise against using [those services] as yet.”

Bag o shite.

I don’t care so much about VoIP as it’s to be expected. But IM? I mean, we are talking INSTANT MESSAGING here, right? That’s data. Ahh. Which, one must assumes, means that any data service — for example, uploading a photo to Flickr via ShoZu is billable and not included in the flat rate deal. Rubbish.

Total arse. Who the hell wants to pay 8 quid a month to be able to arse around on their mobile browser? That is a limited experience at best. RUBBBBBBBBBASSSH.

If you’re a data user, just use Three or T-Mobile. Don’t arse around with anyone else.

I’m not even going to bother checking the pathetic Orange website either.

No, hold on. Actually I will. Whenever I go to Orange.co.uk I can hardly ever find anything I need. I keep on being presented with pictures of Keira Knightley and news feeds.

Let me see if I can find ANYTHING about their mobile data offer…

Nah. Nothing immediately visible.

Bag o shite.

Link: Orange becomes more like bank: launches overdraft facility | The Register

Just when you thought the world of mobile billing and tariffs couldn’t get any weirder, Orange have come up with a new cunning plan to make mo.. I mean help their customers.

Mobile phone customers signing up to Orange’s new Speakeasy pre-pay tariff can get themselves £2.50 worth of overdraft facility to keep them connected when their credit runs out, though they’ll have to pay £1 to sign up for it.

The overdraft facility, branded “Reserve Tank”, is part of the new tariff which also includes three “Magic Numbers” that are only charged at 15p an hour, and a flat 15p a minute rate for calling anyone else.

How long it’ll be before they start charging £30 for a letter and £20 for disallowing a call is anyones guess

Link: News | Orange launches mobile ‘Play-Off’ competition - NMA

Just caught this on New Media Age:

Visitors to Orange World are invited to upload their own 10-15 second videos via MMS or the Orange website. They are then entered into one-on-one competition with a rival in several categories including face-off, dance-off and weird-off. The entrant with the highest number of votes progresses to the next round with several competitions running concurrently.

Interesting concept. If you’re an Orange 3G customer, you can give it a whirl at http://orange.play-off.com/

Has anyone managed to grab an Orange Unlimited Data tariff yet? I popped into the Orange store yesterday but the sales assistants were really busy selling annoying Motorola KRZRs to loads of people. They were doing a roaring trade.

Maybe I’ll try the Orange shop in Hartlepool… if I can find it…